Howdy

All righty then. I decided that I should start blogging over here, as my current blog is just about my purely personal pursuits such as cycling and scrapping, and I have things to say that I don't think belong in the artistic world ruled by civilian women. If you are interested in that or seeing what kind of digital designs I'm up to, hit me over at scrapgirls.com - I'm sfcgijill there too.

OK, so the first and most obvious question is this- what on earth could I possibly have to say that wouldn't fit in with that community? Well, I am a Soldier and that means I have a persona to maintain with them. The Army is great, Soldiers are great, Recruiters are great, God Bless our Troops and George Bush too. I don't want to vent and spoil their vision. I need them to continue to have that nice warm fuzzy about us. They have children who may enlist.

I've been a Recruiter since 1992. Yes, I have my hair, and no, I am not on profile or on anti-depressant medication. I work at the Puzzle Palace. I am not in charge of diddly-squat, so don't bother asking for favors. I wouldn't do a favor for most folks anyway, as I have found that doing favors for people generally backfires in my face. For the last year, I have been here in a completely new and interesting position. I am an Investigator and Inspector. Don't get too impressed- like I said, I am not in charge of diddly-squat. And that is just fine with me.

That said, most other Recruiters would not like to see me come to their stations. Why? Because we don't go to the stations that we think don't have issues. When we come to your station, it's because we've identified a trend that needs to be addressed, and the only trends we look at deal with Recruiter Improprieties.

Now, then. Let's talk a bit about what my job is and what it isn't.

I am an evidence collector. I am not the judge, the jury, or the executioner. Don't waste your time talking to me about what I found in your desk, GOV, or laptop. Besides, if you do talk to me about it, we have to do a sworn statement. You do not want to add "making a false official statement" to your list of charges. So save it. Wait for the investigating officer. He will be more than interested in what you have to say.

If you are stupid enough to do something you shouldn't on government time, in uniform, in your government car, on your government phone, or on your government computer, brother, you need me to catch you. Chances are, we'll nip that naughty stuff in the bud, you'll get your wrist smacked and your eyes opened as you stand on the carpet in front of your Commander. If you've gone beyond the "nip it in the bud" stage, you deserve all you get.

Never forget that each and every applicant is somebody's child. Yeah, they know that kid is an iggit. That's why they are so happy you've taken an interest in him. They want him out of the house, too. They think the military life might just straighten him out, give him a framework so he can be a contributing citizen and quit hoovering up all their groceries. And as soon as dear Johnny gets in trouble, he's gonna say your name, as his family writes letters to their congressman all about what you did. He's gonna spell it right, too, even though he can't spell his own name to save his life. He's gonna hand over your business card and incriminating photo evidence. He's gonna tell us about everyone else he knows that you did the same thing to/for. And Johnny is going to tell a compelling story, complete with tears and snot bubbles, all about all he ever wanted to do was join the Army and make his daddy proud.

OK. Scared you enough yet? Good. Just remember- bad things happen when you do bad things.

Done with that. Done with my blog entry. Taking off the black hat, and I promise, next time I write, I'll be more sociable. Can you tell I got a bug in my britches about something? It'll be over soon, I am sure.

See you soon.